


Damn These Vampires

by Constance_Lirit



Series: Julia Smith [1]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst, Dimension T-69b, Family, Friendship, Gen, Half-Siblings, High School, Music, Short Story, Step Daughter, The Mountain Goats (Band) - Freeform, Vampires, minor singing, relationships, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:10:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constance_Lirit/pseuds/Constance_Lirit
Summary: Julia, daughter to Jerry Smith in dimension T-69b, finds out there's a vampire terrorising the school and killing staff and students. Rick comes to the highschool to help Summer and Morty deal with the problem, among many other tasks they decide to give him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This essentially follows 'Big Trouble in Little Sanchez', however some things that happened in C-132 did/do not always happen in T-69b due to how the dimensions work.  
> This isn't really a romantic fic, it was just something to introduce my second female Rick and Morty OC, Julia; but you know, why does every fic' have to be romantic? Why can't it be about family love?

It had all started eleven years and two weeks ago. It had all started with a letter Beth had picked up and thought nothing of. It had all started with a quiet family meeting that turned to bitter shouting and finger pointing. It had all started eleven years and one week ago when fate, and an alcoholic catholic mother who fit the stereotype all too well, ditched Julia on the doorstep of the Smith’s. The paternity test was quick and painful, those eleven years were long and arduous. One year ago Beth finally got her father back. One minute ago Julia had been rudely awoken from her sleep when there was an explosion in the garage.  
Staring at the ceiling Julia slowly sat up, the tiny fold out cot creaking as she slipped her legs out over the side of her bunk and got to her feet, stumbling over to the light switch she slapped at the plastic square until the lights came on, removing her from the windowless darkness. Tugging at her stone-wash jeans Julia began hopping on one foot until she managed to yank them up her legs and over her hips, her foot returning to the floor as she buttoned and zipped her jeans up.

Heading outside of her room the teen paused inside the dining area, it was still dark out.  
“Fuck sake.” she mumbled, jumping when a sleepy Beth told her off.  
“What have I told you about swearing?” she questioned, having come downstairs to see what the explosion was.  
“Sorry.” the brunette apologised. “What time is it?” she then asked.  
“Uhhh…” the blonde answered, looking around blindly only to remember there was no clock in this room.  
“It’s five in the morning, can’t we put a curfew on Rick’s experimenting?” Jerry complained, having come down a little after Beth since he wanted to find his slippers and house coat.  
“Is that a smoking jacket?” his wife asked, eyeballing the new coat.  
“Yeeessss?” he answered carefully, knowing full well he was not supposed to be spending his allowance on frivolous things.  
“It needs a fez.” Julia admitted.  
“That would be amazing.” Jerry agreed.  
“Could you be any more of a Jerry?” Rick ridiculed, having come out from inside the garage.

Flattening his features Jerry went to complain about Rick’s noise levels, his singular syllable cut off by Beth’s concern.  
“Oh my god, are you okay, Dad?” the blonde questioned, erratically looking his blackened skin and charred white coat up and down.  
“Let it go.” Julia tried to convince her own dad, who was starting to bubble over with so much anger it made his face screw up.  
“Why do I bother.” Jerry quietly questioned, leaving the room to head back upstairs while his daughter watched with a frown.  
“Have you dyed your fringe again?” Summer questioned a few hours later at breakfast time.  
“Oh, yeah… I was getting bored of pink so I went for a more natural colour.” Julia replied, running her fingers through her long green fringe to re-sweep it to the side over one eye.  
“Green is so-so natural.” Rick mocked, sticking another slice of egg into his mouth.

Rolling her eyes Julia tutted.  
“You know what I meant, Gramps.” she answered, knowing it would embed itself right under his skin.  
“I told you not to call me that. It-It’s Rick or Grandpa.” he protested, pointing a sausage at her as she got up to take her dishes through to the kitchen.  
“So… did you give any thoughts into helping us find this vampire?” Summer asked, trying to change the subject.  
“I already told you. No.” the cyan haired scientist reminded her.  
“Another person was killed last night, a janitor I think.” Morty piped up, having had no luck finding the vampire himself so far. Not particularly listening to the rest of their conversation Julia went about cleaning her dishes and getting ready to leave for school, though today the only class she was interested in was her after school club since she would not be in music today.  
“I’m going to be home late tonight. Tell Beth I’ll get something on the way home.” Julia forewarned Jerry, who was too busy staring at his tablet to respond. 

At school, just after lunch, Julia had been wandering the corridor looking for any signs of the vampire as she went towards the school gym; Morty and Summer had asked she at least keep an eye out for anything weird going on, and since she had nothing better to do she had agreed to help. Getting changed into her gym clothes the teen waited just outside the gym hall, her mind elsewhere as her lecturer came along. Strangely fewer and fewer people had been turning up to class, but the nurse had just waved it off as nothing more than a simple flu that had everyone sick. It was mid October by this point in time so illnesses were not exactly uncommon.  
“Hello, Julia. Eager to get those veins pumping are we?” Coach Feratu greeted her, unlocking the doors to the hall.  
“Eager as ever.” the brunette replied, glancing behind her teacher to see a familiar face peeping back.  
“Rick?” she asked, her eyebrow quirking.

Being corralled into the hall with the rest of the students, before she could question him personally, Julia was forced to run laps around the gym with everyone else, her feet reaching the finishing line first. Turning she looked to see the other students were only half way around the course, and that had nothing to do with her speed. Everyone that had attended her class today were fat, her brow crinkling a little. Why were all the healthy students getting sick before the unfit ones?  
“I-I can’t breathe.” Susan protested, being second to reach the finishing line, her hands cupping her knees as she panted and gasped for air.  
“Hey, have you seen Justin recently?” the brunette asked, feeling a little put out that the only eye candy in her class had not been in in well over two weeks now.  
“Your-Your latest fancy? Hhhh-Hhhhaven’t seen him since- since he went to the nurse’s office two weeks ago.” the redhead replied, slowly regaining her posture.  
“… Weird.” Julia murmured, drawn from her thoughts when a tinny voice came out through the school intercom.  
“Attention please. Julia Smith to the principal’s office, please. That’s Julia Smith to the principal’s office.” the voice requested, causing her to frown. What had Rick and Morty done this time?

Heading to the principal’s office Julia knocked on the door and then opened it to look inside when she was requested to enter.  
“You wanted to see me, Principal Vagina?” she asked, hoping it at least did not involve half the school being blown up. Again.  
“We have a new student joining us, Julia. I want you to show him around. The cafeteria, the gymnasium, the music box; but if he asks about any ‘deaths’ or students going missing they aren’t missing – they’re sick and hoping to return Monday morning.” he stressed strenuously, opening the door thereafter to let the new student in.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll help him out. I remember what it was like to be an outsider; always trying to fit in, never quite feeling like-” she assured him, only to pause when he opened the door and someone shouted over her.  
“I’m Tiny Rick!” the student greeted her loudly, her face dropping. What the hell?

Later at lunch Julia had lost track of Rick somewhere between him flattering a self-conscious freshman and him just plain bouncing down the corridors like a ball on acid, either way she was still no closer to finding out what hair-brained scheme he had come up with this time. As far as she could tell Morty and Summer had still had no luck figuring out who the vampire was, whilst she had long since dropped the entire vampire arc to concentrate on a maths test her teacher had thrown at her from out of nowhere.  
“I can’t believe Mr. Goldenfold dropped a maths test on us like that.” the brunette cursed as she stood at the end of a lunch table that Nancy, a brunette with glasses, Patricia, a blonde with dyed aquamarine bangs and an anarchy necklace, and Benard, a dark haired brunet who never went anywhere without his purple polka-dot ascot and against all odds t-shirt, were sitting at.  
“You haven’t been studying?” Nancy asked, looking up from her lunch tray.  
“I’ve been so busy with my weekend job and band practise I didn’t have time for my other classes.” Julia admitted wearily, and while that was true it was not the entire story. Rick and her father had had a hand in her lack of study time as well.

Hearing Rick shouting her name from the lunch room door way Julia groaned quietly to herself and quickly began to forewarn her friends about him.  
“Guys, is it okay if the new guy, Rick, sits with us?” she asked, garnishing a vague voice of agreement from the three of them.  
“I guess.” Patricia agreed.  
“He’s a little loud but give him a chance.” she requested, seeing his prominent spiky blue hair appear beside her. “Guys, this is Rick.” she then introduced him, the trio giving him a unison of ‘hellos.’  
“Oh, goths… Which one of you is the evil one?” Rick joked, while Julia just laughed uncomfortably and sat him down in one of the chairs. “I’ll go get us lunch.” she informed them, heading over to go stand in the queue, her eyes never leaving the table. ‘I guess it’s okay that Rick’s hanging out with my friends… I’m sure they’ll get tired of his shouting pretty quickly.’ she thought to herself, able to hear them laughing rather loudly at something he had said. ‘Wow, he even made Benard laugh...’ she acknowledged, her lips flattening.

Getting up from his seat Rick had balled his hands into gun signs and had began firing at the ceiling, the others only getting more excited as he continued to dance on the spot.  
‘Careful Rick, no one likes an attention whore...’ she thought, rather unimpressed with his silly antics. Turning away to pay for their lunches the teen turned back around only to see a new group of people sitting there. ‘Where’d they go?’ she questioned, scanning the room as she went over to the table. “Hey, where did the group of people sitting here go?” she asked, eyeing up one of the boys she vaguely recognised as Dermot.  
“They pissed off outside somewhere with that new kid.” one of them informed her, her gaze narrowing.  
After school hours Julia had headed to the music box for club, the usual faces taking up most of the seats, including that of Nancy, but she did not feel much like talking to her after she had ditched her at lunch. Getting a guitar from one of the room’s cases the teen sat herself down and quietly began tuning it until their lecturer came in, but when he did not show up, even after an hour and a half, a lot of people had began deciding to just go home.  
“I’m done waiting.” someone finally gave up, getting to their feet. 

Stopping he watched as someone opened the door and came barging in.  
“Oh, hey Rick.” he greeted the small student, who in return shouted something and caused Julia to twist one of the tuners too tightly, snapping one of the strings and cutting her arm.  
“Ow, fuck!” she cursed, dropping the guitar as she flinched.  
“Ohhh, are you okay, Julia?” Rick asked, having stopped greeting his new found friends to see what on earth she was cursing about.  
“Fuck sake.” she grumbled, taking her hand away to reveal a slash down one side of her forearm.  
“Here let me-” he went to offer.  
“I’m fine.” she responded, yanking her arm away from him.  
“C’mon, Julia, Rick’s just being nice.” Nancy told her off gingerly, the brunette glancing over at her as she slowly lowered the arm she was being so protective of.  
“I just need to go wash my arm.” Julia dismissed, getting to her feet to leave the room.

In the girls’ bathroom the brunette had been quietly running water over her arm, why had Rick not gone home with Morty and Summer? Amidst her musing the teen had not heard the door open, her head raising when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. Stilling she slowly raised her head fully, her eyes shifting to the side. Creaking her head round to look at the taller figure stood at the door Julia found that it was Coach Feratu.  
“Uhhhhh….” she voiced, glancing behind herself at the toilet cubicles to make sure she was definitely in the girls’ toilet. “Coach Feratu, this is the girls’ toilet.” she informed him, the man coming towards her.  
“I heard shouting from the gymnasium. Dear girl! You’re bleeding.” he then acknowledged, feigning worry, while watching her back up.  
“It’s fine, it’s just a small cut.” Julia replied, patting herself down in the hopes of finding something to protect herself with. ‘Shit, I left my pepper-spray, stake and communicator in my bag.’ she silently cursed, grabbing a toilet scrubber to hold up in front of her once she had noticed it sitting on the windowsill.

Not entirely sure how to proceed Julia narrowed her gaze, if she tried to get around him he would either be fast enough to grab her or strong enough to knock her down.  
“So, you’re the one that murdered all those people?” she questioned, trying to stall.  
“Murder is a strong word. A guy’s got to eat. Survival of the fitness and all that.” he answered, her eyebrow quirking.  
“Did you just say ‘fitness’?” she questioned, the scrubber lowering, if only slightly.  
“Yes, ‘survival of the fitness’.” he reiterated.  
“It-It’s ‘fittest’...” Julia corrected him. “Did you seriously become a gym teacher so that you could tell that horrible pun?” she then asked.  
“It was funny at the time and it’s funny now.” he scoffed, grabbing the toilet scrubber to throw it across the room. “Wait, what the hell? Was there shit on that?!” he then began to protest, noticing the marks on his hand. “That’s just- The girls’ toilets are supposed to be clean!” he continued, totally distracted.

Buying this as a chance Julia shoved him sideways to barge her way towards the door.  
“That’s an incorrect stereotype, believe me! You wouldn’t believe the amount of women I’ve heard take a dump them immediately leave without even washing their hands!” she shouted back, escaping into the hallway.  
“What the fuck!” he answered, giving chase after having profusely scrubbed and cleansed his hand in the bathroom sink as quickly as he could.  
“Worst thing I ever saw was an un-flushed turd smeared up the-” she continued, being cut off.  
“Stop!” the vampire shrieked. “I don’t want to know!” he snapped, trying to get a hold of her only to come round a corner and skid to a halt. There waiting for him was Rick, Summer and Morty, their stakes at the ready as they took a second to silently grin at him before pouncing forward to stab him to death.  
“We did it!” Summer cheered.  
“We killed the vampire!” Morty added happily.  
“Tiny Riiiiick!” Rick agreed, his arms above his head.

Back at the house that evening Morty had been regaling their parents with the tale of how they managed to kill the vampire, whilst Summer was more interested in discussing how she was certain her high school heart throb, Toby Matthews, was going to ask her out very soon. Julia on the other hand had been silently writing things down on a small notepad she kept on her at all times. Beside her Tiny Rick was eating and eagerly helping Morty tell his side of the story, why he was still Tiny Rick was, however, beyond her. Beth was yet to complain, as she found him absolutely adorable, and Jerry seemed fine with this as, for once, Rick was not a raging alcoholic that seemed to live only to insult him at every waking second.

Being thumped by Rick’s flailing arms Julia found her notepad knocked out of her hand and onto the floor, the last semblance of her patience snapping.  
“Oh my god, what are you; a wacky-inflatable tube man?!” she snapped at him with a frown.  
“Julia! Don’t shout at Rick.” Beth told her off, only getting more angry when Tiny Rick actually started to cry a little.  
“S-Seriously? You’re crying?” she questioned, only becoming confused.  
“Wow.” Jerry spoke, smiling from ear to ear.  
“Jerry!” his wife spat in anger, wiping the shit eating grin off of his face.  
“I- uh-, Julia, go to your room!” he then ordered, however the brunette was already up and on her way in that very direction.  
“Already going!” she answered snappily.  
“G-Good… And stay in there until I say you can come out!” her father called after her, trying to at least seem like his words had had any affect on whether or not she did in fact go to her room.

Sitting on her bed, scowling at the floor, the brunette had been strumming her guitar for a good hour now to no particular beat. Seriously? Rick pulled the crocodile tears trick on her? Rick was already capable of emotional manipulation without also being able to use hyper-sensitivity as a scapegoat, and on Beth it would obviously work every single time. Putting her guitar against the wall Julia quietly went to the door and poked her head out, all the lights were out at this point. Sneaking across the house and into the living room the teen switched on the television and put the volume down as low as it would go. Grounded or not she was not missing an episode of her favourite show because of Rick.  
When the show cut to commercials Julia got up and headed into the kitchen for a snack, the teen pausing when she noticed Rick’s portal gun sitting on one of the counter tops.  
“Hm...” she hummed, picking it up. Poking her head out into the corridor she had a quick look around, her eyes darting back and forth. ‘I doubt Rick’ll mind.’ she thought quietly, fiddling with the dial. Opening up a portal Julia stuck the head of a mop through and then pulled it back out to see if it was frozen, burnt, half eaten or covered in sludge, only sticking her own head in when she was certain the mop was completely fine.

Starting to step through Julia wandered out onto the other side, her head down as she spoke to herself.  
“Oh man, my first adventure… This’ll be-” she uttered, overly excited about the whole thing until she lifted her head and saw a bunch of Ricks’ looking at her. Their hair styles various and their outfits strange. “Nope!” she all but shouted at them, turning to go right on back through the portal and into the kitchen from which she had started in.  
“Who the fuck was that?” one of the Ricks’ finally asked, having broken out of his stupor. Behind her the portal closed, her brow sweating as she put the gun back down where she found it. Deciding to break into Rick’s hidden whisky cabinet instead Julia sat down on the sofa and poured herself a drink, and by morning she was asleep on the sofa, the empty bottle of whisky gripped in one hand as she lay sprawled out with her mouth hung wide open, drool oozing down one side of her chin.

Stood above her was Beth and Jerry, the pair just staring at her as she snored loudly.  
“If I didn’t know any better I’d have mistaken her for the spitting image of Rick.” Jerry admitted, Beth’s teeth grinding together as she slowly turned her attention to him. “Wake up, Julia.” he began to state, trying to direct her anger back onto the teen passed out on the sofa. Snorting herself awake Julia groaned and lifted the empty brown bottle to her eyes to try block out the bright light streaming down on her from the ceiling light.  
“You are in soooo much trouble.” Summer informed her, having come downstairs for breakfast only to come see what her parents were hovering over when she found the dining room empty.  
“You have school in two hours.” Beth informed her, deciding to leave this in Jerry’s hands as she had to go into work early.  
In the dining room one hour later Julia was only feeling slightly better after having had a shower, her head thumping loudly in her ringing ears.  
“Good morning!” Tiny Rick shouted, while Julia grabbed her ears and curled into a ball to try protect what little motor functions she had left from being damaged by Rick’s volume levels. “Ohh-ho-ho! Someone’s got a hang over.” he laughed, getting onto the wooden chair beside her to eat his breakfast only to find his plate empty. “Beth, where’s my breakfast?” he called, only to find Jerry poke his head out instead.  
“Make it yourself.” he stated, disappearing back into the kitchen.

Frowning Rick glowered at the kitchen entrance from over Julia’s tufts of short brown hair, his eyes lolling down to a hand pushing a full plate in his direction.  
“You can have-” she tried to tell him, getting to her feet to rush for the bathroom, shoving Morty, who had been trying to go there himself, out of the way in the process. Two seconds later there was loud vomiting, which drew Jerry to the kitchen doorway with a bowl of pancake batter under one arm and a wooden spoon in the other.  
“Is she okay?” he asked, while Summer, Rick and Morty just gave him a flat look. Did she sound okay?


	2. Chapter 2

Going to high school not much happened for the whole day, besides Rick stealing Julia’s friends yet again of course, thus making her even more aggravated than usual. Clenching her fist the teen stormed the corridors looking for Rick that early afternoon, prepared to confront him once and for all. Rounding a corner the teen skid to a halt when she saw him dangling from his feet in the grip of Frank Palicky, the teen glaring him down while his latest fancy, Mary, stood at the side lines shouting at him to put Rick down.  
“Frank, put him down, he was only inviting me to a house party!” she protested, making no physical move to actually aid the much smaller student.  
“Shuuuuut up, Mary.” he answered.

Very quickly the situation escalated when he pulled out a switch-blade knife, Rick’s legs beginning to flail that little bit more.  
“Frank my man, my buddy, my pal; there’s no need for the knife!” he tried to tell him, only making the situation worse.  
“You try to take my girlfriend and then you try to tell me how to bully? This knife is very necessary.” he replied, pushing Rick higher up against the locker. Before anything else could happen, however, Frank’s eyes rolled backwards and his mouth became ajar, letting go of Rick he fell sideways, revealing Julia behind him, the chair still poised in the direction she had swung it.  
“Hands off my Rick.” she grumbled, glaring down at his unconscious body.  
“Julia, you saved me!” Tiny Rick thanked her, only getting an out-stretched hand to keep him at a distance.  
“Get back in your adult body, Rick.” she stated very plainly, very simply, before lowering her arm and dropping the fold out chair onto Frank’s head, knocking him out for a second time when it seemed he was coming round. Thereafter she left Mary to deal with her ‘boyfriend’ so that she could go to towards the music box.

There she sat down and prepared for class, pausing when she watched Rick wander in with Susan and Nancy, the trio laughing and talking. As usual he had not listened to her at all apparently. As the class progressed Julia had found her eyebrows slowly drifting down her forehead as she watched Rick continue to distract and entertain the entire class, including the teacher who was yet to actually teach them anything.  
“What instruments can you play, Rick?” the teacher asked.  
“I played guitar in a band.” Rick replied.  
“Oh, a guitar player!” he acknowledged, looking more excited by this than he had ever been with Julia. “What can you play?” he then asked.  
‘Don’t encourage him!’ the brunette quietly moaned, covering her face before revealing it again when she realised Rick had spotted her guitar and had decided to steal it off of her. “H-Hey, wait!” she protested.  
“Now Julia, let Rick borrow the guitar; you broke the strings on it last night. Do I need to remind you that I’m still not entirely happy with you having it again?” the blond reminded her, her mouth shutting and flattening out in irritation.

Sitting down Rick tuned the guitar, as if Julia had not already done that, and then got comfortable with it on his lap.  
“This is a song with the same four chords I use most of the time when I've got something on my mind, and I don't want to squander the moment trying to come up with a better way to say what I want to say.” Rick began, while Julia looked elsewhere with a scowl. “People were mean to you but I always thought you were cool, clicking down the concrete hallways in your spiked heels back in high school.” the teen then sang, Julia’s expression slowly unfurling. “It's good to be young, but let's not kid ourselves, it's better to pass on through those years and come out the other side with our hearts still beating, having stared down aliens and come back breathing. My body’s slowly dying in a vat in the garage.” he went on, her eyes lolling to look at him.  
Raising her head off of her hand she just stared at him, he was looking directly at her.  
“People were mean to you but I always thought you were cool, clicking down the concrete hallways in your spiked heels back in high school.” he went on, the other students thoroughly enjoying the song. “You deserved better than you got, someone's got to say it sometime 'cause it's true. People should have told you you were awesome instead of taking advantage of you. I hope you love your life now like I love mine, stop looking at me like that and actually help me.” Tiny Rick went on, her brow furrowing again.

Clapping his hands to the beat the teacher continued to smile, it was nice to hear a song that was not an Adele cover.  
“Help me, help me I'm gonna die. I hope the painful memories only flex their power over you a little of the time, we held on to hope of better days coming, and when we did we were right. I hope the people who did you wrong have trouble sleeping at night. People were mean to you but I always thought you were cool, clicking down the concrete hallways in your spiked heels back in high school.” Rick finalised, the class cheering excitedly. Once class was over Julia was quick to grab Rick and pull him aside.  
“Are you okay?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned.  
“I’m fine, I’m Tiny Rick!” he answered, to which she put both her hands on his shoulders and forced him to stand still and flat on his feet.  
“Are. You. Okay.” she reiterated, staring him deep in the eyes as she leaned towards him.  
“Tiny Rick!” he shouted back, grabbing her by the vest top to stare right back at her with just as much intensity.

After a good half a minute of staring Julia was certain there was something wrong with him.  
“That’s it, we’re going home.” she snapped, trying to drag him by his wrist.  
“I’m not going home! I like it here.” he answered, yanking his arm out of her grip.  
“You don’t have a choice!” she retorted, cursing when he kicked her in the shin.  
“Hey, Julia’s bullying Tiny Rick again!” someone shouted, and within seconds a horde of people had appeared to watch.  
“Leave him alone, Julia!” Nancy shouted.  
“Kick the freak’s ass, Tiny Rick!” another requested.  
“We’re not fi-” the brunette tried to inform them, being cut off when Rick punched her in the jaw and knocked the startled teen against a locker.  
“That’s for stealing my whisky!” he informed her, her hand clutching the side of her face.  
“You-You punched me!” she snapped, her eyes welling up as her father’s attributes quickly surfaced.

In seconds she was shoving and bulldozing several people out of the way to escape the circle, the students cheering at Rick for winning the fight.  
“Tiny Rick!” the crowd cheered, lifting Rick up so that he could see over their heads. In the distance the brunette had ran right into a door only to stumble backwards and open it to get outside. Back at the house Julia had been wincing and cursing at Jerry as he dabbed her eye with a cotton ball.  
“You know this isn’t the first time someone in this family’s come home with a black eye.” he tried to joke, putting the disinfectant back into the drawer of his study desk.  
“I can’t believe he punched me.” she groaned, hearing the door downstairs open and then slam. “At any rate, he couldn’t reach my eye, he only got me in the jaw.” she sighed.  
“Wait, a boy punched you?” Jerry asked with a frown. “When I was in high school if you needed a girl beaten up you sent your sister or your girlfriend to do it for you...” her father uttered in thought.  
“I’m not bothered by the fact that a boy hit me, Dad. I’m upset by who hit me.” Julia replied, getting up off of the chair she had been perched on. Sighing Julia rubbed the plaster on her face slightly.  
“Are you going to go to the principal?” he asked, watching her head towards the exit.  
“No. I’ve a different plan.” she admitted. “I’m going to do nothing at all.” she explained, her gaze narrowing as she left the room and shut the door behind herself.

Heading into the kitchen Julia began making herself some toast when she heard someone shuffle into the room.  
“Heey, Julia.” Rick greeted her, getting no response. “I wanted to apologise for punching you.” he informed her, followed by the sound of rustling. “You-You like chocolate right? What teenager doesn’t like chocolate?” he fumbled, showing her the large bar.  
“You think you can apologise to me with chocolate?” the brunette questioned, finally turning to look at him coldly. Lowering the chocolate he rummaged around in the bag for whatever else he had bought as a back up plan.  
“Whatever else you have in there I’m not interested.” she stated, stepping to him to loom over him.  
“But Julia, I-” Tiny Rick tried to reason with her.  
“Don’t. Finish that sentence.” she stated, leaning over. “I’m only going to say this once; I don’t like this version of you, Rick, and if you ever, _ever_ , lay a hand on me again I will kill you in your sleep and feed your tiny, rotting limbs to the neighbourhood dogs.” she threatened him, his expression somewhere between scared and upset. “Do I make myself clear?” she then asked gently, standing up straight.  
“Yes.” he acknowledged, getting out of her way so that she could leave.  
Later on, and not completely deterred, Rick had come back to Julia with another plan of action, surely she was not still mad?  
“My condolences. I'll shed a tear with your family; I'll open a bottle up, pour a little bit out in your memory. I'll be at the wake dressed in all black, I'll call out your name, but you won't call back. I'll hand a flower to your daughter when I say goodbye, ‘cause, baby, you're dead to me.” Julia was muttering to herself as she performed her part of the chores by cleaning the living room.

Flattening his features Rick stared at her plainly. She was still mad.  
“Hey, Julia… You want-” he asked, wandering into the room.  
“No.” she stated bluntly, turning the hoover on to drown out his voice. Now more annoyed than ever Rick turned the hoover off by yanking the plug out from the wall. “I’m trying to apologise!” he snapped.  
“I don’t need your apologies.” the brunette informed him, pulling her green fringe to the side. “I need you to go back to being Rick.” she murmured, putting the hoover to the side.  
“I am Rick, Julia! I’m just Rick in a younger body.” he assured her after a good chuckle to himself.  
“You’re not _my_ Rick!” she shouted, startling him. “I mean… you’ve always been an ass hole to me, but this is different!” she corrected herself quickly, trying to regain her composure.  
“… ‘My’ Rick?” the cyan haired teen questioned.  
“The point is you don’t need to be in this body to do everything you want to do.” the brunette tried to reason with him.

Sighing Julia ruffled her short brown hair.  
“Look, you did what all us real teenagers spend six years of our lives trying to accomplish in under two days; you killed a vampire, became a teacher’s pet, you were popular, all the girls wanted to not only sleep with you but _date_ you. You got into a fight with a bully, you even claimed you were in a band!” she listed off, pressing her left index finger against each right finger as she went.  
“No, that part was true; I really was in a band, but not in high school.” Rick informed her, cutting her off before she could say something else. “And okay, enough with the flattery, I know I’m awesome. I’m Tiny Rick!” he shouted, causing her to frown.  
“No, Rick. You’re awesome because you’re Rick.” she stated firmly, his happy expression dissipating as he began to think.

Later Morty and Summer had come home from a house party, their happy but exhausted expressions dissipating when they walked in on Rick butt naked and covered in blood, his hands tightly gripped around two axes as he strolled through the kitchen to drop them in the sink before he then strutted towards the bathroom for a shower.  
“Rick, what happened?!” Morty questioned.  
“Pants!” Summer all but screamed.  
“Hey kids.” he greeted them. “Don’t mind the mess, I was just destroying the clones I had in the basement. Turns out Operation Phoenix wasn’t the fall back plan I thought it would be.” he admitted, shutting the bathroom door before they could ask any questions.  
“I-” Summer began. “I guess this is for the best.” his sister finally sighed. “Being in that body for so long was starting to make him say some really weird things...” she admitted.  
“What about being my wing man?” Morty questioned, looking defeated.  
“I think I can help you there.” a new voice informed them, the pair turning to look at a short brunette.  
“Tiny Julia!” she screamed.  
“Oh fuck.” Summer and Morty responded in unisons.


End file.
